Description
If you’re looking for a serious, feel-good novel about dogs, this isn’t it.
A highly intelligent “Labrador Sabatuer” trains a team of dogs for the heist of a lifetime- the Christmas ham and all the fixin’s in a crowded house full of holiday guests and their dogs.
A quick, black-humor story written from a dogs’ point of view, it borders on the absurd.
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Excerpt Chapter:
GINGER RESURGENT
As Maximus Gary ran across the the living room / dining room to the great room, Ginger heard Don yell “MAX!” Then he heard Don take several lumbering steps off the couch…
Maximus Gary dropped the spiral ham on the run. He saw Ginger cowering behind a huge fern in the great room. She was too small to help move any of the food containers out to the Lilac Tree. But she must have other talents.
“You!” snapped Maximus Gary. “Imp Dog! Whatever your name is! If you want even the tiniest bit of this bounty, you’ll help me stave these Bipeds off! Show me what you can do!” Max didn’t wait for an answer and charged back into The Hot Zone.
Ginger snapped out of her shock. She looked at that luscious pile of Biped food and understood the breadth and scope of what was at stake. Maximus Gary had given her clarity over the situation as he had so many other Dogs over the years.
Ginger realized exactly what needed to be done. She shook off her fear and ran like a bolt of blue lightning directly into the living room and saw the sluggish Don- fresh off the couch. She made a mighty leap and squarely hit Don in the “low – hanging – Fruit – of – the – Looms – if – you – get – what – I – mean,” with all the momentum her seventeen pounds could muster.
Don screamed in pain. He doubled over, grabbing his crotch with one hand and suspending his body off the floor with the other.
Ginger uprighted herself and ran to the foyer where Auggie and Teddy were still circling and regarding each other with vicious intent. She slowed her pace, looked each of them in the eye and said, “GET THE FOOD OUT.” When they only gaped at her, she showed her teeth and growled.
“NOW!”
Their jaws hung low and their eyes bulged at what they were witnessing. Ginger squared off, crouching, ready to spring and teach them a lesson with her nasty little dachshund bite.
“Who put you in command?” grinned Teddy lasciviously. “May I have his name and rank, Love?”
Undaunted, Ginger darted forward and bit him solidly on the leg. Teddy howled and withdrew. Ginger stood her ground as Teddy backed up uncertainly and eyed her warily. Auggie stared in shock.
Don groaned.
Abruptly, Ginger pivoted and ran into the living room where a groggy Don was clumsily trying to get to his feet near the couch.
She ran over quickly and bit him squarely on his butt. Don shrieked and fell. He grunted as his head hit the corner of the living room table. Then he crumpled to the floor like the hothouse flower he was. After a brief twitching of his left foot, he was still. Ginger had knocked him out.
Ginger turned and raced back to Auggie and Teddy.
“GET THE FOOD OUT,” she said squarely. She ran upstairs to confront the growing mass of confused Bipeds gathering.
Auggie and Teddy watched her run up the stairs with a shard of Don’s underwear hanging from a lower tooth. Teddy was astounded.
And Auggie was hopelessly, helplessly in love.
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5.5″ x 8.5″
202 pages of pure reading dynamite
ADULT READING: Mild swearing, graphic violence.
ISBN: 9781387940196
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